So, since my mind is not completely consumed with the election anymore (*sigh*), it has wandered to other things. Like why does it get dark two hours early now even though we set the clock only one hour back? Why do we do that anyway? Whatever happened to 702? Am I shrinking? You know...things like that. Lol. But today, one of my pretty 14 Karats' status inspired me and I began to think...
The phrase “unrequited love” in an oxymoron to me.
How can "love" be "unrequited"?
According to the credible source that is Wikipedia (lol), unrequited love is “love that is not openly reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. The beloved may not even be aware of their admirer's deep affections. This can lead to feelings such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria. “
Hmmm. Depression, low self-esteem, anxiety and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria?
If that’s “love” or anything close to it, show me to the nearest desert island because I don’t want to fall in “love” with anyone!!
I’ve been in love before and it was nothing like that...ever. Love is (for lack of a term to describe the indescribable) wonderful…it is supercalifragilistiespialadoshus.
Love doesn't make you feel pathetic. Love doesn't make you feel like you're living in some sort of odd mix of dream/reality/fantasy/nightmare. Love doesn't make you feel like you're wishing on a dumb star. Love doesn't make you feel like you're settling for someone who wouldn't dream of settling for you. Love doesn't drain you of your energy. In the words of Keli, Love doesn't make you want to "rip out a page of your memory". Love doesn't make you feel like something is wrong with you.
Most of all, love is a two-way street.
I don’t believe one person can truly love another person unless that person loves the other person too. Are you following me? A woman is not truly in love with a man unless that man is truly in love with the woman.
Love is something you do, something you give, something you can feel, something you receive. It is not eternally painful. It doesn’t make you want cry all the time. It doesn’t confuse the crap out of you or make you wonder what the heck is going on. Sure there are problems and all of that in even the most loving relationship, however, when it’s love, you know. And if it’s unrequited then it’s not love.
Before you yell “blaspheme!” and fill the comment box with your true life story of how you were so “in love” with someone who didn’t love you back, let me pre-diagnose you: You were just being d-r-a-m-a-t-i-c.
Of course if you call it "love" then it adds a sort of legitimacy to the whole thing. I'm guilty of doing it too. But, if we really think about all that love is, we have to admit that unrequited is just not one of those things.
I will say though, that I’m sure I've come as close as possible to loving someone without him loving me back.
But I can’t say it was love. Overwhelming pain is not equal to overwhelming euphoria. I can't take the great feeling that is love and apply it to some guy who couldn’t care less about me or my feelings. That's not love at all...from him or from me. Sometimes we deceive ourselves or at least try to.
And sometimes it’s not love and we know it, yet we still call it that. Sometimes it's ego (I just want you to like me). Sometimes it’s masochism (I am going to keep allowing you to break my heart over and over because I am addicted to the pain). Sometimes it’s addiction (I can’t stop thinking about you). Sometimes it’s infatuation (I like him soooooo much). Sometimes it’s just a crush (He’s a hottie!)
But it is never, ever love if he doesn’t love you back.
Or is it?
Just a thought...
Written by: 11/12/08
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